Counting seconds
by x.xOracles.Shadowx.x
Summary: It'd started out simply enough, but then again, the life changing things always do. - Morgana/Leon, Merthur, some GwenLancce mentioned in passing. Reincarnation fic/ one-shot!


**AN: I told myself I wouldn't do it. I told myself, 'Wait until you're caught up on all the seasons, wait until school isn't kicking your ass'. But then I went on Tumblr and there were GIFs and I found a story that had Merthur and Morgana/Leon, and while Merthur had already been one of my favourite things, Morgana/Leon joined them pretty quickly. This story just kind of exploded; there was no stopping it. So then this happened, and I know only the basics of what happened in the finale (Yay, Merthur being canon! Everything else hurts though). It might be drastically off the mark but I like it. **

**That being said, hello all! This is the first Merlin fanfic I've written. This was written during an all nighter and I don't know how it turned out to be this massive. Seriously, this started as just a snippet of conversation between a reincarnated Morgana and Leon. But hey, such is the way writing works, I suppose. I'm not sure what to say about it, really. I tried to keep it in character and include as much of what I know of the finale (I'm still back in series two, where everything was nice and there were very few tears). **

**I'll leave you to decide how it is. =) **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the laptop I'm writing this on, and am making nothing off of this written piece of work. If I owned Merlin, I wouldn't be writing this, and the series finale would have been an entirely different beast all together. Except Merthur. Merthur stays. Also, I wouldn't be running on no sleep with another paper to do before six this evening. Oh boy. **

* * *

It'd started out simply enough, but then again, the life changing things always do.

Morgana Pendragon could only sigh and stare up at the ceiling as her pain in the arse half-brother Arthur continued to talk into her ear through her Bluetooth as she stood in front of a display of pasta that was taller than she was. 'Really', she thought, 'I don't know why I didn't just call Gwen'. It would probably have been the easier, and less annoying, course of action considering Gwen was sensible, and knew what the hell she was doing when it came to cooking whereas her brother was a lovesick fool who couldn't boil water without setting the flat on fire.

Gods, she loved the bones of him, she really did, but if he didn't stop talking, she'd kill him with a knitting needle when she got home. She'd only called to ask one simple question, about which type of pasta they needed for dinner, and instead of an answer, she got this: him faux casually dropping some bloke's name into every other sentence and pretending this Merlin guy hadn't knocked the breath out of him when he walked in late to their lecture last Monday and had left his head spinning ever since. She'd heard the story twice in one sitting: once from a very amused Gwen, and a very half-arsed version that'd been like pulling teeth from Arthur, and it'd only been cute the first time. The next six times had been a bit much.

"Arthur, I swear by everything holy, if you don't walk your lazy arse over to the kitchen cupboard right this second-", Morgana bristled only to be swiftly ignored as her brother went on a tangent about something else that she was sure would be Merlin related. If her brother didn't get laid by this bloke soon, she might just kill the both of them just to have some peace and quiet. She tapped her heeled foot in agitation and waited for her brother to take a breath, shifting to avoid the cart that passed by her in the aisle. She'd been standing in front of this display for so long the grocery staff were beginning to give her funny looks, and she'd be damned if Arthur's scatterbrain would cause her to be known as 'That Weird – Though – Very – Hot – Pasta – Chick', or whatever the equivalent was.

"By the way, Morgana, I'm not sure if Gwen told you, but she and Merlin are quite close. Apparently we're invited for dinner at her place next weekend, kind of a meet and greet thing.", Arthur told her. No, Gwen hadn't told her. Oh by the gods, this was going to be a matchmaking dinner, wasn't it? She hated those, they never work out as well as they do in the movies.

"No, Arthur, Gwen hadn't told me anything of the sort.", Morgana sighed. If she heard this bloke's name one more time, she swore to Circe she'd scream. "Now, about the-"

As if it knew it was about to be mentioned, wayward boxes of pasta fell from the top left of the display, just out of Morgana's eyesight. When she heard the rattle and the clatter as they fell to the floor beside her, she jumped in shock and would deny letting out a surprised shriek until the end of her days.

Unfortunately, the Pendragon luck didn't stop there. Before she had time to collect her breath or reply to the concerned questions Arthur was tossing at her from her ear piece, her heel hit the floor tile and let out a squeak as she landed. The next thing she knew, she was falling backwards and looking at the ceiling again.

She had no time to brace for the impact, but a moment passed, and then another. When Morgana opened her eyes again she realized she hadn't hit the floor. The next thing she noticed was the pair of arms that'd wrapped tightly around her waist to catch her, and the solid form her back was resting against. She turned her head upwards and found herself staring into dark blue eyes, and for half a moment she promised herself that she wouldn't make fun of Arthur for falling for a pair of blue eyes for the next week.

"Are you all right?", the guy who'd saved her from a fairly unpleasant concussion asked. For half a second Morgana just nodded, her brain felt like it was frozen. Then she realized she looked like a fool, or worse, like Arthur, and cleared her throat, then said,

"Yes, I think so." She wasn't particularly inclined to move and it didn't seem as though he was in any hurry to let her sit up so she shifted slightly to get a better look. She'd be ashamed to call herself a Pendragon if she didn't capitalize on this situation. The guy had light red hair that framed his face and what she had a feeling her brother would refer to as scruff. She just thought he was handsome, and she also had the feeling that she was grinning like an idiot.

"That could have been a bad fall. I guess the floor didn't agree with your footwear.", he joked with a grin. Morgana felt her heart skip a beat in her chest and her smile just widened.

She had a momentary thought of, 'Oh Christ, I'm turning into Arthur.', then saw the grin morph into a genuine smile. "Such is the price one pays, I suppose. I was just lucky you were around to be my knight in shining armour.", she replied. The laugh that rumbled from the knight in question sent a pleasant shiver up her spine and she felt herself want to laugh along with him. Which was silly because she hadn't said anything particularly funny, but such was the situation she found herself in.

"Well then, my lady, let's get you on your feet. I'm Leon, by the way.", he introduced, helping Morgana to her feet. She memorized the name, but had the strangest feeling that she already knew his name. It came over her like a wave of déjà vu and vanished just as quickly but it still left her shaken. She took a step away from Leon and turned to face him full on. If he experienced the same flash of weird recognition he didn't show it, but she smiled anyway.

"Well thank you, sir knight. I'm –", she began then yelped when, out of the blue, Arthur's voice thundered into her ear drum.

"_MORGANA! WOULD YOU BLOODY ANSWER ME, WOMAN?!_" She ripped the Bluetooth out of her ear and grabbed her phone, placing it by the other ear while Leon looked at her with an expression of shock on his face.

"Arthur, for heaven's sake, there was no need to blow out my damned ear drum!", she yelled at him, her face colouring red. Of course her idiot of a brother had to do this.

"There is when I can hear something scare you, and you not only don't answer, but start talking to some bloke you don't know from Adam!", Arthur yelled back. He let out a huff of air and asked, more calmly, "Are you okay? Are you hurt? Do you need me to come get you?"

As annoyed as she was, Morgana felt her heart melt just a little bit. For all their yelling, there was no one on Earth she'd claim to love as much as her brother and she knew he felt the same. They'd always looked out for each other and even when they'd bickered, argued and driven Uther up the wall, they'd always been there whenever either one needed someone. If he thought she'd been injured or was in danger of some kind, he'd be there in a heartbeat and to Hell with traffic laws. She even smiled slightly before glancing at Leon. The smile died when she saw the look of shock, and almost horror, on his face.

"Uh, yes, Arthur, I'm fine. I'll be home in a bit; I just need to pick up a few things. Do you need anything?", Morgana replied, feeling her heart sink. Whatever had just changed, she didn't think she'd be seeing Leon again after today.

"No, just come home. We'll order a pizza or something.", Arthur told her, and that was how she knew he was truly worried about her. He could hear it in her voice that something was wrong, but she didn't think pizza with her brother could cure this. How could her heart be hurting over someone she'd just met? She thought she knew better than that.

"Right, be home in two ticks.", Morgana promised, a slight smile on her lips. "I'll see you then."

"I'll be here. And Morgana, try not to bring home any strays, will you?", Arthur teased and she rolled her eyes as a huff of laughter escaped her.

"What, Arthur, so you can bring home pasty Irish boys named Merlin but I can't bring anyone home?", she poked, glad of the offended noise he made on the other end of the line. She glanced at Leon and saw his eyes had gone wide and his mouth was forming the name _Merlin_. She wondered what Merlin had to do with any of this.

"I haven't even been introduced to him yet, you harpy! He probably doesn't know I exist.", Arthur replied and Morgana wanted to laugh. If this bloke had made enough of an impression on Arthur to have his head up in the clouds without her brother returning the favour in kind, whether he meant to or not, she'd wash Arthur's car in the dead of winter. Pendragons had a way of attracting attention to themselves.

"Well, I suppose that's what Gwen's dinner is for. Speaking of, we'll figure out what you're wearing when I get home. I would be a failure as a sister if I let my brother look like a frat boy when he meets his fairy tale true love. See you soon!" Morgana hung up amidst the spluttering and denials her brother saw fit to vocalize and was grinning even when she looked at Leon again. When she did, she wanted to hide.

She coughed to clear her throat, to say what, she wasn't sure, but then Leon said, very quietly, "Morgana." That one word opened the flood gates.

Vertigo hit her like a baseball bat to the forehead and she staggered where she stood. The scene before her melted away into a grey haze and when it cleared, it felt like she could breathe again. She wasn't in the grocery store any longer, she was in a large stone room, and in front of her, Leon was kneeling in front of a throne. She blinked in surprise when she saw herself sitting on that throne, with an ornate crown on her head and soldiers around her, but the girl didn't look like her, not exactly. There was something wrong, something dark, behind her eyes as she looked at the kneeling Leon.

'_Are you and your fellow knights ready to honour and serve me?_, the her on the throne asked. The man who looked like Leon, wearing a red cloak and chainmail, didn't respond immediately.

He looked at her, and Morgana could see the exhaustion, but also the defiance in his eyes. _'I would rather die.'_, he replied. And he would, Morgana could feel it in her gut. There was something wrong here, she'd done something terribly wrong. She looked around the throne room in confusion, knowing in her gut that there were three people missing. Gwen, she was supposed to be there, and so was Merlin.

Her heart rocketed into her throat and she remembered what she'd done. Leon wasn't her knight, he was Arthur's. Arthur was the king, and she'd taken his kingdom because of what Uther had done to magic users. She had magic, she was a Seer. Or she had been, before everything went wrong. It seemed a life time ago and suddenly, everything hurt and all she wanted was to see her Leon and her brother again.

She looked around, panic clawing up into her throat and sitting there like a weight as she turned from the scene and ran to the throne room doors. This was all wrong. Arthur. Where was Arthur? Where was her brother? They had to put this right, she couldn't stand the thought of losing him again. She couldn't bear the thought of Leon looking at her like he hated her again.

The doors to the throne room opened and bright light seared into Morgana's eyes. She squeezed them shut and when she opened them again, she was back in the grocery store. She blinked back the tears that she could feel burning behind her eyes but when she looked at Leon, she remembered. She'd tortured Merlin and tried to kill Gwen and Arthur, and oh good gods, what she'd put the knights through, just because they'd stayed loyal to Arthur. She swayed and leaned against the pasta display, feeling foreign and exactly the same as she had when she woke up that morning to find Arthur whistling in the kitchen while waiting for his toast.

"What have I-" The words caught in her throat. She knew what she'd done, she'd always known. She'd just had the mercy of forgetting when she was born again into the world, but all good things come to an end. She felt the ages press on her shoulders when she looked back up again at Leon, who was standing still and staring at her with eyes she'd known for years. Eyes she never thought she'd see again. "Leon."

"You remember." It wasn't a question but she nodded any way.

"I remember. I won't insult you by apologizing, I know it'll never be enough.", she said, her voice thin as she spoke. No apologies, no gifts, would erase what she'd done and what she'd allowed to happen. How she was supposed to go home and face Arthur without breaking into hysterics, she had no idea.

Leon was quiet when he walked up to her and for half a moment, she thought he was going to kill her. It'd be just what she deserved after what she'd done to he and his brothers at arms. He stayed quiet and took a moment to look her in the eye like he was searching for something. She didn't know what he was looking for but she was willing to wait until he found it.

A smile broke across his face suddenly. It wasn't the smile he'd worn before Arthur's phone call. It was the smile he'd worn whenever they'd gone walking when she couldn't sleep and he was the closest guard on duty. It was the same smile he wore when they talked while he walked her down to feasts in the great hall. It was the smile he'd worn before he realized what she'd done and how badly she'd betrayed Camelot and Arthur. It was the smile she thought she'd killed, but she'd never been so happy to see that she'd failed.

She didn't dare speak until she knew what she was dealing with but the smile never wavered. If anything, it grew and he took a step forward. He reached forward and grabbed hold of her hand, then said very quietly, "Do you know how long I've waited to see you again when I looked into your eyes?" Morgana had no idea what to say to that so she said nothing, she just waited. "When you took Camelot, I looked into your eyes and I didn't see anything of the lady I knew. I didn't see my lord's sister, the lady I would gladly have given my life to protect. All I saw was anger and hate and everything Morgause had you bring to Camelot, everything Uther caused. I thought we'd lost you, Morgana. I despaired because of it."

"For a while there, you did.", she answered. She clutched his hand like a lifeline. "I was so angry because of Uther's laws, and so tired of being afraid of being hated and feared and rejected because of something I didn't have a choice in wanting. And then I found out I was Uther's daughter. I thought, if I was queen, things could change. No one else needed to die because they had magic. I could change everything, and make my people safe again."

"Weren't we your people as well?", Leon asked.

"Of course, Camelot was my home but – I couldn't, I was afraid.", she admitted. "I thought you would hate me because I had magic."

Leon smiled softly at her. "Morgana, we loved you. Uther loved you, and Arthur… My god, he'd have gone into the fires of any hell the gods deemed fit to throw at him to get you back, and we'd have gone with him."

"Uther would have killed me." It'd been a constant nightmare for her. Burning, always burning. The fire would lick at her skin and burn her to ash and all the while, Uther would sit on his balcony and watch as someone he'd claimed to love as a daughter burned. She couldn't count how many times she'd woken up screaming with the memory of his face behind her eyelids.

The smile slid from Leon's face at the old king's name. "Uther was dead when you took Camelot. You could have trusted Arthur.", Leon told her. "Your brother loves you, Morgana. He'd have protected you even if Uther hadn't."

In her heart she'd known that but then Merlin poisoned her and there was everything with Mordred... If things had been different, she'd have gone to the ends of the Earth to protect her brother. In this life, she'd jump in front of a dragon to save him and she'd do it without question, just like he would for her. It figured that the life where Uther died relatively young, leaving two half siblings to practically raise themselves and each other, would be the lifetime where they'd grown up all right.

"I know, and I love him. Oh gods, how am I supposed to go home and face him, Leon? He doesn't remember.", Morgana asked. "I can't keep these secrets from him but he'll never believe me if I tell him."

Leon walked closer to her and took her hands in his. He gave her a measured look then said, "Then we'll tell him together and we'll make him believe us. Merlin has to remember, why else would he show up now in Arthur's class the same week I move into town? It's no coincidence, Morgana."

Merlin was an entirely different kettle of fish all together. If he didn't kill her on sight, they'd have to have a long talk with Arthur about everything. She was already dreading having to sit through that eye-sex marathon; it'd been bad enough when he was the crown prince and they'd seen each other every day. After a thousand years apart, it would be near impossible to get a word in edgewise. But, for Arthur and Gwen and Leon, she'd do it. She smiled at the knight, feeling lighter than she had in ages and stood away from the pasta display.

She frowned as a sudden thought struck her, and she gently squeezed Leon's hand. "How could you forgive me, Leon? After everything I've done…"

"The same as how I could forgive Merlin for poisoning you or Arthur for stringing Gwen along for so long. I can't hate the people I love, Morgana, I don't have it in me.", Leon told her. "It's a new life, and I can't speak for you but I am so tired of paying for the sins of the old one. I want us to be happy this time around, and we can start by getting that kingly, pain in the arse brother of yours to remember."

Before getting her memory back, being happy had consisted of school, helping Arthur run the family advertising company and going to see movies on Saturday night with Gwen and Lance (and oh dear, that would be a hellish conversation, at no mistake). Now, she had two lifetimes to make up for, which meant twice as much happiness, and call her cynical but she just didn't think all nighters and rom-coms could make her that happy.

She glanced at Leon and smiled, pulling her car keys from her purse. All nighters and rom-coms might not have been able to but she'd bet she knew someone who just might. She carefully took hold of Leon's arm and when he put his other hand over hers, she knew she'd made the right choice. "Well then, let's go see that brother of mine. Come on, Leon, we're going home.", she told him, the two walking towards the door.

"I thought your brother told you not to bring home any strays?", Leon asked with a deep laugh as the doors slid open in front of them.

Morgana grinned at him and gripped his arm as she led him towards her car. "I think he'll let me get away with one. Besides, he has Merlin, which means I need someone to even the score.", she told him with a shrug while inside, her heart was beating hard against her ribcage. They had a lot of time to make up for, and once they had everyone on the same page, she didn't intend to waste one more second.

**AN: That's it! I'm working on the assumption that Leon and Morgana would have had some interaction throughout her stay in Camelot, as she was the king's ward and he was one of the knights. I liked it, and I hope you guys do too. =) **

**Thanks so much for reading, everyone! Have a good one!**

Much love  
Oracle. (L)


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